There is a common theory which says that through resonance we attract on the outside what we are on the inside. It is the mirror theory, that others serve as mirrors for our own self-analysis because they reflect some facet of our own being. Whoever exists in our lives indirectly helps us acknowledge and integrate whatever aspect of ourselves they represent. Therefore if we attract darkness, it is because we have darkness within. If we fall under the abuse of a predator, it is because we have yet to discover and accept the predator within ourselves. If mankind is being visited by mysterious alien forces, it is because they represent the hidden parts of our psyches.
This theory sounds good, but I think it is incomplete and sometimes backwards. It makes more sense to me that one attracts a predator because one is inwardly prey, that one attracts people with victim mindsets because one has a savior complex, that mankind attracts manipulative aliens because we are easily manipulated. Mirrors reflect a reversed image.
Psychopaths are known to project their own attributes upon others. This is where the mirror theory can be abused. By getting their victims to identify with them, they can get away with further manipulation because the victim is forced to choose between proving themselves guilty of denial and hypocrisy should they resist externally what they themselves are internally, or else tolerate the abuse to demonstrate that they are striving towards personal integration and responsibility. This kind of logic is obviously twisted, but many people fall for it.
The problem is further evidenced by the fact that ridding oneself of the internal offending element does not always resolve its direct external reflection. For instance, the victim who works hard to polish away any abusive tendencies will not succeed in banishing the external abuser. An excellent example would be the rationalization aliens often use to justify their feeding and experimentation upon humans: that they are merely doing to us what we do to animals. That is true, but the false implication is that we deserve it because we attracted it. This psychopathic logic is easily exposed via the following: should mankind suddenly turn vegetarian and stop experimenting on animals, nothing would change regarding the alien presence – humans would still be eaten and manipulated. No doubt animals should be treated with respect, but that is a separate issue.
We may observe that similar things attract through mutual resonance. But we also know from simple observation that opposites attract. This paradox may be resolved by realizing that archetypes attract identical archetypes via resonance, but that these archetypes in themselves may have polar expressions. Two beings sharing the same archetype may attract each other via opposite expressions of that archetype. Magnets attract other magnets – the law of attraction by similarity – but the point of contact is between north and south poles – the law of attraction by opposites. Likewise, the predator and prey carry within themselves the same predator-prey archetype, but each expression is opposite the other.
So the object and its reflected image are similar in essence but opposite in form. The mirror theory must be expanded to include this, otherwise it creates a vulnerability. Under the flawed version where outer directly reflects inner, the victim tries to remediate the situation by either distancing themselves from the abuser pole—which only brings them closer to the victim pole—or else accept the abuser pole. In either case the victim-abuser archetype remains and is only flipped around one way or the other. That is the fallacy – a false dichotomy between opposite poles instead of different archetypes.
Escaping the predator-prey archetype necessitates becoming neither by choosing a third choice that transcends the false dichotomy. What a novel concept for those caught in the habit of binary thinking. It is possible to neither accept abuse nor become a predator oneself. For instance, the victim would be wise to acknowledge his or her own victimhood and transcend it by standing up to the abuser – in one fell swoop, both the inner and outer poles of the archetype are resolved, and thus the archetype as a whole is abandoned for a healthier one.
Same with the aliens, who have suggested that if they manifest in our lives it is due to some prior agreement we are obligated to uphold. The choice they offer is between denial through resistance or awareness through tolerance. But these are false choices, which can be transcended by a third choice: resistance through awareness of ulterior motives combined with action toward a better alternative.
It seems that most STS (service-to-self / negative / dark ) based archetypes are polar in expression, while the more STO (service-to-others / positive / light) ones are unified. For instance, an entity heavily embedded in the STS hierarchy chooses between weakness and strength, killing or being killed, predator or prey, and cannot think beyond a binary manner. Their freewill choice is restricted to choosing between two poles of the same archetype without consideration of a more liberating archetype, and in this way their freewill declines the deeper they become entrenched in the hierarchy.
The STO archetype does not have poles; attraction happens through mutual resonance. That is why positive entities tend to organize into organic self-harmonizing networks—a unified diversity—instead of rigid vertical hierarchies. They have chosen beyond the predator-prey dynamic. It is why heart-based friendships are between kindred souls.
Getting out of the box involves putting freewill where it counts: not between two polar choices, but between them and a transcendent archetype. The mirror theory, where external reflects internal, is tremendously helpful towards these ends, but must be correctly understood. Sometimes we attract what we are, other times we attract the opposite of what we are.